LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.
Firstly, I just have to say this, otherwise I might go crazy...we all make mistakes. Sometimes they decide, but they don't have to define.
I've decided I need to shed some light on this blog. Really, school is a huge burden right now and I'm forgetting to look for the little things that, among their simplicity, fill my days with joy. I find myself starring at this enormous load of everything and being so over-whelmed I'd rather do nothing about it. The truth is, I don't know where to start. Actually, nevermind..I do. I really am going to need a possible miracle to get me through these, give or take, next ten days. I am nothing and I can do nothing without the mercy, compassion, strength and unconditional love of my heavenly Father.
Keep your eyes fixed. This life isn't about receiving praise.
To live intentionally is to live without excuses.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
BRB Just going to finalize our wedding plans...=)
Josh Groban - You Are Loved [Don't Give Up] (Video)
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Given The Chance. . .
If I had the opportunity to speak to parents..well I have a few pointers:
The thing with the society that your children have been brought up in is that we're c o n s t a n t l y surrounded by noise and we're prime at multi-tasking and blocking out specific noise when necessary. Yelling until you're blue in the face may feel effective, but well, we're choosing not to hear it.
The worst thing in the entire world you can say to your kid is that you're disappointed in them. Speak those words and you've just won the argument. Guaranteed.
Better yet, cry. I'm being serious. It works.
This is sounding harsh..I'm not angry at my parental unit or anything, I'm just simply stating what would honestly work out.
Also, if you talk calmly about why you are so upset..we may roll our eyes. We can roll our eyes, but we can stillllll hear you. Keep talking.
Don't make your son or daughter doubt how much you love them. If we can't count on that, nothing in the world is worth anything anymore.
Don't be a hypocrite.
As long as we are your kids and you are our parents, we'll all make mistakes.
As long as you're human..you'll make mistakes while parenting us. Do the best you can. There are few things that your child may choose not to forgive you for. Don't take that for granted. Give your kids a little more credit. This life is a hard one and we're good people just trying to figure it out for ourselves. Trust that you've done all you can to teach your children good morals and values and that they will find it within themselves to honour those truths. Have just a little more faith. Letting go at the right time isn't an option...it is a mandatory process in life.
The End.
The thing with the society that your children have been brought up in is that we're c o n s t a n t l y surrounded by noise and we're prime at multi-tasking and blocking out specific noise when necessary. Yelling until you're blue in the face may feel effective, but well, we're choosing not to hear it.
The worst thing in the entire world you can say to your kid is that you're disappointed in them. Speak those words and you've just won the argument. Guaranteed.
Better yet, cry. I'm being serious. It works.
This is sounding harsh..I'm not angry at my parental unit or anything, I'm just simply stating what would honestly work out.
Also, if you talk calmly about why you are so upset..we may roll our eyes. We can roll our eyes, but we can stillllll hear you. Keep talking.
Don't make your son or daughter doubt how much you love them. If we can't count on that, nothing in the world is worth anything anymore.
Don't be a hypocrite.
As long as we are your kids and you are our parents, we'll all make mistakes.
As long as you're human..you'll make mistakes while parenting us. Do the best you can. There are few things that your child may choose not to forgive you for. Don't take that for granted. Give your kids a little more credit. This life is a hard one and we're good people just trying to figure it out for ourselves. Trust that you've done all you can to teach your children good morals and values and that they will find it within themselves to honour those truths. Have just a little more faith. Letting go at the right time isn't an option...it is a mandatory process in life.
The End.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Demand More From Yourself Then Anyone Ever Expects
I was contemplating going to sleep or pulling an all-nighter to do homework, but then I decided against both and figured I should put my thoughts causing my sleeplessness into words for anyone in the world with access to a computer and the ability to steal someones wifi to read...but probably won't.
You know, I look around and I seem to see people who live care-free and unabsorbed by the questions of "am I truthful?" "am I humble?" "am I doing everything I can?" ... "am I good enough?" Lately my world has been that of a trench of lukewarmness (I hate that word) I can climb myself out and the joy I am able to feel at that moment becomes indescribable with words, but still 1/100th of an even greater joy I have yet to know. My definition of hope, if anyone ever asked, would be something like that.
It's weird..and hard to explain. If this is what they call "falling apart," I will deny it every time!
Jealousy has always been prevalent in our society's incapability to be grateful for what we have. I struggle with it too. In comparison to other people, how do I measure up? Am I doing enough? I can't even count how many times I consciously or sub-consciously ask myself that question. Am I doing enough? I've always had a heart for giving, but I wonder, will I ever know the satisfaction that I'm doing enough or is that not meant to be? Is the yearning to always do more the driving force that makes a proactive personality? I sure hope so!
I've been described as an introvert with extrovert qualities. That's completely correct, I think. Yes, I would much rather sit behind this computer screen sharing my thoughts for complete strangers to read than actually go out and meet people, but that's just the thing, yeah I have to force myself to be out-going and enthusiastic and, psychologically, it wears. me. out. But! If that is what the "heart of a missionary" or a "proactive spirit" or a "witness of love" entails..I will put in the work that apparently comes naturally to others.
Re-evaluating the life I have and saying 'yes, it will be hard and you might have to put in more than you think you're capable of sometimes' is not exactly ..motivating, but it is necessary.
Knowing who I am is one thing, but knowing I am loved, with all my flaws, big as I may make them, is a story my soul hasn't completed writing yet. Life is a process. A bitter-sweet process. One I wish I could speed up and one that I need not waste another second of.
You know, I look around and I seem to see people who live care-free and unabsorbed by the questions of "am I truthful?" "am I humble?" "am I doing everything I can?" ... "am I good enough?" Lately my world has been that of a trench of lukewarmness (I hate that word) I can climb myself out and the joy I am able to feel at that moment becomes indescribable with words, but still 1/100th of an even greater joy I have yet to know. My definition of hope, if anyone ever asked, would be something like that.
It's weird..and hard to explain. If this is what they call "falling apart," I will deny it every time!
Jealousy has always been prevalent in our society's incapability to be grateful for what we have. I struggle with it too. In comparison to other people, how do I measure up? Am I doing enough? I can't even count how many times I consciously or sub-consciously ask myself that question. Am I doing enough? I've always had a heart for giving, but I wonder, will I ever know the satisfaction that I'm doing enough or is that not meant to be? Is the yearning to always do more the driving force that makes a proactive personality? I sure hope so!
I've been described as an introvert with extrovert qualities. That's completely correct, I think. Yes, I would much rather sit behind this computer screen sharing my thoughts for complete strangers to read than actually go out and meet people, but that's just the thing, yeah I have to force myself to be out-going and enthusiastic and, psychologically, it wears. me. out. But! If that is what the "heart of a missionary" or a "proactive spirit" or a "witness of love" entails..I will put in the work that apparently comes naturally to others.
Re-evaluating the life I have and saying 'yes, it will be hard and you might have to put in more than you think you're capable of sometimes' is not exactly ..motivating, but it is necessary.
Knowing who I am is one thing, but knowing I am loved, with all my flaws, big as I may make them, is a story my soul hasn't completed writing yet. Life is a process. A bitter-sweet process. One I wish I could speed up and one that I need not waste another second of.
"It's not love that is blind, but jealousy."
Monday, May 9, 2011
T H I N G S
I didn't write this. I found it while creeping on someone's facebook page. It's extremely insightful and I'm storing it away for future reference. It's not only insightful...it kind of blew my mind.
Things
by Mark Drapal on Friday, 05 June 2009 at 23:04.
I'm a slave.
My time is not my own.
I would say that I live for things that waste my time, but I'd be lying...I don't live at all.
It's amazing how things can control your life. THINGS. Things made for people.
Well forget the people just give me the things because I'd rather be with "them" anyway.
Things don't yell, or argue, or frown at you, or throw you around like a mannequin head. Things don't swear or spit in your face or cut off your tongue, or look at you like you're an idiot when you make a mistake.
Things leave you alone.
Things don't ask you about your day, things don't ask you if you're ok, things don't tussle your hair or poke you around, or stuff you full, and embarrass the hell out of you. Things don't touch all your stuff and move it around and clean up after you. Things don't ask you stupid questions.
Things don't smile, or joke, or kid. Things don't play. Things don't spend time on you, or work for you or make any sort of sacrifice for you. Things don't laugh. Things don't cry. Things don't smile...again. Things don't make you breakfast, lunch or supper. Things don't make you warm when you really need to be, things don't fix you snacks, or fail horribly at games. Things don't make you laugh, or smile, or feel.
Things...don't.
Things leave you alone.
They leave you very much alone.
.
Things
by Mark Drapal on Friday, 05 June 2009 at 23:04.
I'm a slave.
My time is not my own.
I would say that I live for things that waste my time, but I'd be lying...I don't live at all.
It's amazing how things can control your life. THINGS. Things made for people.
Well forget the people just give me the things because I'd rather be with "them" anyway.
Things don't yell, or argue, or frown at you, or throw you around like a mannequin head. Things don't swear or spit in your face or cut off your tongue, or look at you like you're an idiot when you make a mistake.
Things leave you alone.
Things don't ask you about your day, things don't ask you if you're ok, things don't tussle your hair or poke you around, or stuff you full, and embarrass the hell out of you. Things don't touch all your stuff and move it around and clean up after you. Things don't ask you stupid questions.
Things don't smile, or joke, or kid. Things don't play. Things don't spend time on you, or work for you or make any sort of sacrifice for you. Things don't laugh. Things don't cry. Things don't smile...again. Things don't make you breakfast, lunch or supper. Things don't make you warm when you really need to be, things don't fix you snacks, or fail horribly at games. Things don't make you laugh, or smile, or feel.
Things...don't.
Things leave you alone.
They leave you very much alone.
.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
I've Learned to Never Underestimate, The Impossible
My dad lately has been asking more questions and talking to me more about school and life. Even though I'm convinced that sometimes I disappoint him, he has never failed to make sure I know that he is proud of me. It's especially important today, May 1st, my last full month of school and I have so much school work to do it's not even funny. You know, at this point I would be deemed by most as a lost cause. . .heck, if I didn't have people who believe in me, I would be a lost cause. But the effort he's putting in now means more than the world to me. really.
Sometimes I know he feels like he can't give us everything we want and that somehow he's failed us.
It b r e a k s m y h e a r t and allowing him to feel like he hasn't given me the world would be my biggest regret.
Be gentle with your parents. There are so many without a mom or dad..taking my own for granted at times is not acceptable.
Tell someone that you love them - tomorrow is unfortunately not guaranteed.
Sometimes I know he feels like he can't give us everything we want and that somehow he's failed us.
It b r e a k s m y h e a r t and allowing him to feel like he hasn't given me the world would be my biggest regret.
Be gentle with your parents. There are so many without a mom or dad..taking my own for granted at times is not acceptable.
Tell someone that you love them - tomorrow is unfortunately not guaranteed.
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