I am proud of her as she walks everyday with her head held high, and I wonder if she's made it to who she wants to become. I am faced with reality and I know she has not yet become that person. Though countless flaws and mistakes cause her to fail; victories, defeates and love have won more battles than I'll ever know. I don't want this to be over, but I know that what's gone is gone and times between '03 and here change so far beyond either's reach. What's happened? What have we become? materialistic, desperate. So angry we have to fight to win. Firing back each insignificant flaw we can find to hold onto because neither arguement is stronger. I believe there is a bigger war to fight today then has ever been in history. And, though the battle lines have been drawn for centuries, they have now begun to get closer and closer while both sides take step after step backwards.
I can't breathe relief. I can't imagine the bigger picture, I can only focus on the desperate sighs of now. Her greatest fear is that she will never become who she was to be. She'll grow, and learn and do things differently. But not now, not when she can't close her eyes to sleep at night, worried of something unfinished.
When will I/she realize that it's not too late to be saved and dance in the rain?
Friday, December 11, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Second Chances
Everyone knows the truth now i guess. This IS happening.
She's been through pretty much everything. Hit the very bottem and enjoyed the fame of the top. Good days come and go while bad days creep their places. Changed lives, made mistakes, but never let me down. i don't even think that's possible. I believe you can make it through this and i know you will, i have no doubt.
Camping last weekend, talking late at night, bundled up in a tent with three beautiful people, i came to realize that girls spend so much time waiting around for boys to grow up and move on from superheros and hotwheels that they get frustrated into thinking they're not pretty enough or thin enough because nothing they do is good enough to catch someone's attention. We're all in the same exact boat fishing in the same exact sea. When fishing, you trust that the line won't break and that the bait you're using will be enough to catch a fish, but at the same time, we forget to trust the actual line we are fishing with in life. And sometimes this line snaps of gets tangled, some to the point where you think you'll never get it untangled. And did you ever notice that sometime fishingline is impossible to see? You take your eye off the little bobber and miss the fish you could have caught, or the person you could have been...
What do you do then? You reel the line back in and throw it out again. Second chances.
Second chances to make the same mistakes over and over and over and, hopefully learn from them.
She's been through pretty much everything. Hit the very bottem and enjoyed the fame of the top. Good days come and go while bad days creep their places. Changed lives, made mistakes, but never let me down. i don't even think that's possible. I believe you can make it through this and i know you will, i have no doubt.
Camping last weekend, talking late at night, bundled up in a tent with three beautiful people, i came to realize that girls spend so much time waiting around for boys to grow up and move on from superheros and hotwheels that they get frustrated into thinking they're not pretty enough or thin enough because nothing they do is good enough to catch someone's attention. We're all in the same exact boat fishing in the same exact sea. When fishing, you trust that the line won't break and that the bait you're using will be enough to catch a fish, but at the same time, we forget to trust the actual line we are fishing with in life. And sometimes this line snaps of gets tangled, some to the point where you think you'll never get it untangled. And did you ever notice that sometime fishingline is impossible to see? You take your eye off the little bobber and miss the fish you could have caught, or the person you could have been...
What do you do then? You reel the line back in and throw it out again. Second chances.
Second chances to make the same mistakes over and over and over and, hopefully learn from them.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
"It's a Beautiful Thing"
We are all given the chance, and must at some point, grow up. Move on from Jonas brothers to things bigger. We are all influenced and changed. Experienced and taught.
I wish for so many things. I wish I made the soccer team, I wish I was thinner, I wish I had bluer eyes and better grades..vague. I wish this and that, but what I wish for the most,
is her courage. She has courage and poise far beyond her years. Beaten down, picked up/led astray, carried back/molded, shaped/blessed and graced/ talked and listened, heard and unheard...but, I don't know her.
This is a vantage point. on & off. It's interesting that I can know of her, but not know her. It's a jumble of feelings when I realize, everything I want to be, she is. No, she's not perfect, not at all, infact she is broken and fearful and strong and brilliant, but once again, I don't know her.
She wants something more, I want something more. She is human, as am I.
We are not the same. Differences as wide as the ocean separate us worlds apart. The crosses we bear are different shapes and weights. Infact, as I write, I see we are so unbelievably different.
Her devotion to the people she must love are so lucky to have her to love them, however, gutsy as well, taking on a broken, confused masterpiece of encredible beauty and strength to love in return.
She will never know, maybe not until she's rocking her grandchildren (what a thought!) about how we are different, but somehow managed something amazing through her words.
I wish for so many things. I wish I made the soccer team, I wish I was thinner, I wish I had bluer eyes and better grades..vague. I wish this and that, but what I wish for the most,
is her courage. She has courage and poise far beyond her years. Beaten down, picked up/led astray, carried back/molded, shaped/blessed and graced/ talked and listened, heard and unheard...but, I don't know her.
This is a vantage point. on & off. It's interesting that I can know of her, but not know her. It's a jumble of feelings when I realize, everything I want to be, she is. No, she's not perfect, not at all, infact she is broken and fearful and strong and brilliant, but once again, I don't know her.
She wants something more, I want something more. She is human, as am I.
We are not the same. Differences as wide as the ocean separate us worlds apart. The crosses we bear are different shapes and weights. Infact, as I write, I see we are so unbelievably different.
Her devotion to the people she must love are so lucky to have her to love them, however, gutsy as well, taking on a broken, confused masterpiece of encredible beauty and strength to love in return.
She will never know, maybe not until she's rocking her grandchildren (what a thought!) about how we are different, but somehow managed something amazing through her words.
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